BEING AN ALLY
In GLAAD’s 2017 Accelerating Acceptance survey, they determined that 12 percent of the population identifies as LGBT (20% 18-34, 5% 72+). With so many people openly identifying as LGBT, it is increasingly important for people to learn to become active allies
DO SOMETHING when you see a member of the LGBTQIA+ community in trouble. Members of the community often experience verbal, physical, and emotional harassment. If and when you see this happening, make sure the person is safe. The frustrating truth is, even with huge victories like same-sex marriage being legalized, queer people’s feelings of rejection and shame can do a lot of long-term damage. As an ally, it’s not your job to be a therapist or counselor, but it is your job to listen and offer support when you can.
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DON'T ASSUME. Ask someone how they identify instead. Some don’t physically look as they identify, and others identify as nonbinary or fluid. The National Center for Transgender Equality notes that the best way to ensure nothing offensive is said is by asking which pronouns one prefers.
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AVOID ASKING OVERLY PERSONAL QUESTIONS. It’s only natural to be curious, but that doesn’t mean that everyone wants to be an open book about all the elements of their personal lives. Some topics are off-limits, especially if the person isn’t well-known. Treat LGBT people the way you’d like to be treated and get permission if you want to ask questions.
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BE AWARE of how much space you take up. It’s great when straight and cisgender people want to visit queer spaces (bars, clubs, coffee shops). Seeing that they want to visit is a powerful experience for LGBT people who grew up feeling like an outcast. But if every time at a normal bar, queer people were there commenting on how much they loved straight people, it’d get really annoying, especially when they were trying to relax or flirt.
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STAY INFORMED. LGBT laws are constantly changing, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. Either way, you should be aware of these shifts. LGBT people are being turned away from businesses and more than half of all Americans live in a state that allows sexuality orientation discrimination.
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DON'T DISMISS queer people as just going through a phase. It can feel very invalidating and hurtful to the receiver. Even if it is, it’s perfectly normal for teenagers to question various aspects of who they are. And if it really is a phase, they can feel ashamed to admit it if they’ve been teased about it.
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LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES. At the beginning of becoming an ally, you’re naturally going to make mistakes and say the wrong thing. Many LGBT members are okay with this as long as the ally learns that what they did wasn’t okay and changes their actions. So it’s also important for you to live and learn rather than get upset and angry.